missing euu..

ended work today.. went to his house to get back some things..
while onboard e bus, passed by many places we used to go often..
memories came flooded back... keep playing n flashing thru my head.. cant seem to stop... sudd felt i wanted to cry.. but i controlled... n controlled.. at last.. tear rolled down my cheeks.

sudd all feelings came back.. wondering if it was e feeling of excitedness n eagerness to c u or cant give up yet n still love u some whr deep deep down in my heart..
...maybe both..

at last got down e bus.. thr u were...
1st thing was to c our baby xin xin...

when we walked down e slope, surroundings looks familiar but felt strange...
walked past e pool, recalled back when we used to swim in thr... playing n having fun...
nv expected for u to send me off.. but u did..
maybe tt's u.. one thing which remains e same..

n after tt noticed u lost weight.. wanted to hug u but had a feeling of smth refraining me from doing so.. maybe i felt guilty for putting u thru all these torture... i know u wanted to be with me but u just didnt/ cant bring urself to make me stay or hug me. me too, was longing for a hug...
miss ur smell.. ur hug... those happy times..

bus came, u said bye n went off hurriedly...
after boarding e bus, looked thru e window.. saw ur back... missed it.. hoping u would turn n c ur face again... but nv...

thts ran wild in my head n everything started playing back again...
2nd time, tears rolled down again..
*pain in me*

til now.... .... ....